5 Ways to Build Trust with People (I)

  • Post published:August 18, 2020


By the time you’re 50, you must have heard this word at least a million times. That’s no coincidence.

Trust is the most used—and abused—word after…

…you guessed it; Love.

While this post shows you 5 ways to build trust in your relationships, I must leave a few caveats before we dive headlong.

First, this is not a list of hacks.

You cannot hack your way into trust. Even if there’s a way people manage to do it, Elisha Mamman would not be the person to show you that. I have always cherished the highway of genuine process from day one.

Trust is not built by acting in a certain way in front of people to win their approval. We have a name for that already, eyeservice.

If you must win with people, you must be genuine. Show heartfelt concern and real empathy that comes from a place of care. Not because you want something out of the relationship eventually but because you want the best for that person.

Most people follow the hacks and they seem to succeed in the interim, but as the famous saying goes,

“You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.”

— Abraham Lincoln

People who do eye service will be found out for who they are sooner or later. So, why fake what can be real?

That said, let’s see 5 Ways to build trust with people.

1. Smile

Yes, you read it right.

There is a reason why a bright smile can open doors for you.

Here’s one. No matter how warm your handshake or hug gets, without a genuine smile, no one would find it easy to trust you.

As you greet people and converse with them, be sure to wear a smile with their names on your lips. It hits differently.

And I’m not talking about face-to-face contacts only. Even on phone calls, a genuine smile reflects in your voice too.

So never forget to smile!

2. Watch Your Pace

This is not about your gait. It’s about how fast the words fly out of your lips.

Yes, research shows that people are more likely to trust someone who talks calmly and slowly than someone they’re literally straining to hear.

Except you’re an auctioneer or a football commentator who needs to talk fast enough when the ball nears the goal post, talking fast in the real world seems like you are being dishonest.

A slow to medium talking speed helps you choose your words carefully and makes you sound more intelligent. I don’t mean dragging your words slooooooowly.

Talk slow enough to be heard and fast enough to keep the conversation dynamic.

Try it today.  

3. Listen!

In a world that overprices making your voice heard, listening has become a powerful tool to win hearts.

When people know you listen, they are more likely to open up their hearts to you in ways that build mutual trust.

By listening, I mean nodding intermittently, maintaining eye contact, no interruptions except to ask clarity-seeking questions

Listening entails noting what is said and what’s not being said too.

It involves watching the body language. And when they are done talking, don’t dive into your response. Take the pause. Ask follow-up questions. Then and only then can you offer genuine feedback.

4. Offer Help

One of the best ways to let people know you have their back is that you offer them help when they need it. Sometimes, you could choose to help with a problem they haven’t even verbalized.

Something as simple as helping someone knot a tie he’s struggling with will go a long way.

When it comes to building trust, kindness is key.

Offer it genuinely.

5. Trust People

Trust is a two-way street.

If you cannot trust someone, then why should they trust you?

Renowned writer Earnest Hemingway said,

“the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

To gain trust you must first give it. Now, I don’t mean handing your Facebook password to a total stranger.

It means sharing a delicate part of your life with those around. It shows that you trust them. It will only be a matter of time before they reciprocate.

This will come with some risk. You will be vulnerable. You could be taken advantage of. Anything can go wrong.

But there’s only one way to find out, take the plunge.

Make it a little test. Those who prove to be worth your trust will be rewarded with more. Those who shock the living daylight out of you should be kept at bay.

Never forget, trust is earned. Make sure you earn yours and give some to those who have earned it.

You may also like: 4 Facts About Relationships You Need to Know

As always, I will like to know your take. Which of these 5 points will you start practicing today?

Let me know in the comments.

This Post Has 2 Comments


    Thank you for the knowledge, waiting for more sir.

  2. Gubiya Ishaya

    This is awesome. I totally fine this educative and for me it’s timely.

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